Something that has always angered me about ‘old’ attitudes to the internet, and online socialising, is the view that anyone indulging in such a pastime is a sad loser, who obviously doesn’t have any real friends.

I’ve made some good friends by chatting and hanging out online, and some of these connections have grown into ‘real life’ friendships. I’ve also managed to rekindle friendships with people I haven’t seen in months or years, and add depth to people that I may have only spoken briefly with.

But is there a danger that social networks can become depressing?

I’ve started reading up on social sites and depression, and there are several schools of thought that look to online social support networks as ways to alleviate depression.

For instance, this blog, by Douglas Karr, points out the benefits of online communication (Even if he does slip into a stereotypical dig at the video game loner at the end – obviously not a fan of Xbox Live).

But at the same time, do social networks not still reward those who shout the loudest, just as in real life? They promote the appearance of knowledge, and the repetition of the thoughts of others, without promoting original comments and ideas. Forum posts can develop into debate, but how much of your social networking profiles is about forming and joining groups, just to say you’re a member?

And once the initial buzz of adding everyone you’ve got in your contacts list has subsided, and you experience a lull in the social action, will this not reinforce any ideas of isolation? Leading to users frantically refreshing the page in the hope a new friend will have added them, or a new post will have appeared?

I’m a member of numerous forums, social networking sites and an avid Xbox Live gamer. And yet last night when I logged on, most people were either offline, or busy doing something else. Luckily I quite fancied some single player action for a change, but that occurred with an online network in the 100s, and probably closer to the 1000s. If you’re prone to feeling rejection, and have a smaller network, it could be a fairly common occurence…

I’m not sure what the answer is. Any automated solution would be uncovered quickly, and no-one keeps Tom at the top of their Myspace friends for long. But at a time when people can be putting in an enormous effort to update their Facebook, Myspace and Twitter accounts, whilst checking out their favourite forums, it’s going to feel disapointing if they aren’t rewarded with interaction, even for one evening.

Not the most cheery post for a social networking fan, but one that is worth thinking about. Disapointment is the biggest enemy of converting new users to a website or community, and if you can tackle it head on, then you’ve got a good start in building decent, organic growth for your project.